我的亲人是郁闷还是操纵？
抑郁症是A.非常困难的野兽。如果你从未经历过甚至你有的话，那就有时很难看到别人的抑郁症，特别是我们的朋友和家人。您可能想知道该人是否伪造或让其投入，以便引起注意甚至操纵他人。抑郁症的人可能很难满足。当你试图提供帮助时，您可能会因愤怒的斥责甚至责备而抵消。
您可能开始将您所爱的人视为无助，充满自怜。尽可能多地想要富有同情心和理解，你自己的愤怒和怨恨可能会建造，因为看起来你郁闷的爱情似乎拒绝变得更好。这种负面的情绪螺旋是情绪排出和令人沮丧的每个人。
临床症状或操纵？
很容易看出一些可观察到的抑郁症状如何被护理人员，朋友和亲戚视为操纵。事实是，抑郁症是一种临床诊断的情绪障碍，通过生物和生理触发器沉淀出来。它不是想象的或全部在一个人的头脑中。这不是一个角色缺陷，抑郁症患者也不能抓住它。抑郁症是非常真实的，不是用于控制他人的操作的工具。
然而，抑郁症的人可能采用操纵行为。抑郁症不会在真空中发展。抑郁症的人也可能有一个操纵性格。这种抑郁和操纵行为的组合对于那些试图提供帮助的人来说，抑郁和操纵行为尤为困难，无论是人的治疗师，家庭成员，配偶还是朋友。
What are manipulative behaviors?
操纵是关于控制的。当据说有人被操纵时，他们通常被指控改变局面，以便他们拥有鞋面，对他们的行为不承担任何责任。操纵个体很难通过使用威胁，情绪强制或诱导内疚来获得他们想要的东西。
Here is one example. We have a relative who would invite us to dinner but would not except no for an answer. If we would decline to come to dinner, then a tearful threat of suicide would be made over the phone. When we would acquiesce and show up for dinner, the tears would be gone and the suicide threat was not spoken of again. Until the next time she wanted her way.
另一个例子来自我的童年。我妈妈有精神分裂症and she also has bouts of depression. This particular combo of mental illnesses can be debilitating. Yet there were days when she had more energy than others. She would find time to walk to the store to buy smokes, but would refuse to do simple chores around the house. When I asked her to do a chore she would act hurt and say, "But I am sick. You wouldn't ask me to clean if I were in a wheel chair would you?" To which I responded, "Yes I would."
我认为我们都可以从我们所爱的人甚至我们自己的操纵方式中拔出我们的操纵行为的实例。我们都是人，我认为每个人都能够在一点或另一个人的某一点到某种程度。我对操纵行为的看法是，这个人尚未学习如何以社会合适的方式获得他们想要的东西。他们可能会觉得他们的需求遇到无力，所以他们使用操纵，因为它适用于它们。但当然，最终，这些行为只用于疏远个人，为他们的任何受害者创造愤怒和怨恨。
操纵行为的例子
Playing the victim
永远是烈士
使用内疚之旅让人们对他们感到难过
责备他人的所有问题
对他们的行为不承担任何责任
Taking no action to get well despite asking for help
被动侵略性（即沉默治疗）
夸大问题
表演无助
吮吸别人或说虚伪的事情
尽管有人需要，但总是必须是关注的焦点
用愤怒和侵略
撒谎和操纵事实
Outsmarting（智力欺凌）
Using your own weaknesses against you
当你达到它时，操纵是当这个人间接地对他们真正想要的东西和需要的时候。当你是被操纵的人时，很难知道在这种情况下要做什么。一个策略是为了他们的行为，基本上让他们知道你没有堕落。但你真的要小心，它是你正在处理的操作。
I did this with one friend who would repeatedly ask for help for her problems but then never took any action to resolve any of them. Finally, after the umpteenth time of sharing ideas of what she could do, I said, "I am no longer going to give any suggestions because you never act on any of them." It woke her up to the fact that she was caught in this cycle of talking about problems but never taking action. My assertiveness was probably the best thing I had done for her, above and beyond all my reactive advice.
