What Not to Do When Your Child Is Anxious
When your childis anxious, your parental instinct is to make your child feel better. But often, even the most well-meaning responses can enable fears and make anxiety worse in the long-term. Here are some examples and tips for what to do instead.
DON'eassure with phrases such as “Don’t worry,” or, “There is nothing to worry about.”
Your child’s fears feel very real, even when the child knows there is nothing to worry about. That doesn’t mean you should leave your child alone and let him or her worry. The child maywant to stop the worryingbut simply can’t. The more children are told there is nothing to worry about, the more they may begin to think there is something wrong with them since they’re being, 'worried over nothing.'
Instead__,acknowledge your child’s anxiety. You might want to take several deep breaths together to help the child calm down and then work together to find solutions.
DON'T avoid things and places that cause anxiety
One of the easiest ways to avoid feeling anxious is to avoid places, things and events that cause anxiety. Unfortunately, this then reinforces the idea that there is a reason to fear the situation. In the long-run, avoidance increases anxiety.
An alternative approach是使用exposure techniquesthat slowly expose your child to the frightening situation. For example, if your child is anxious about playing at the playground, you might start by reading a book about the experience, then sit outside a playground. Over time, you and your child might move closer to the playground or sit inside it. As your child’s fear subsides, you can encourage the child to play on the swings or interact with the other children.
不要将你的孩子标记为“担心”
When you label someone as aworrier, you define that person by their anxiety. It’s important to remember that while your child has an anxiety disorder, it doesn’t define who the child is. Labeling your child as a worrier could lead to the child accepting it as a character trait that can’t be changed.
A better way is to根据他们的积极特征来定义您的孩子，例如善良，慷慨，爱或关怀。解释之间的区别，“你有焦虑，这可能会导致你担心，”而且，“你是一个担心的。”此外，使用让您的孩子知道他或她的语言。
DON'T try to eliminate the anxiety
No matter who it is living with ananxiety disorder, you aren’t going to magically make it disappear. So your goal shouldn’t be to eliminate all of your child’s worries and fears, but rather to teach the child how to manage anxiety.
你可以通过providing children with the tools to manage their anxiety. Practice relaxation techniques such asdeep breathinguntil your child feels comfortable using them. You can take it a step further by teachingmindfulnessto help your child move from the past/future to the present.
Another technique is to create step-by-step checklists for your child to follow when faced with anxiety, or to trymaking a worry chest, where your child can deposit their worries.
DON'T take it personally
Too often, parents internalize their child’s behaviors, taking these “faults” as a reflection of their parenting skills. They might feel responsible or guilty for somehow causing the anxiety. But when you take on the responsibility of the anxiety, you take away your child’s chance of learning how to manage fears.
The solution is tolet go of the guilt. Your child has an anxiety disorder. Rather than focusing on where it came from or how it happened, focus on what you can do to help your child manage symptoms and fears. And, if necessary, reach out for professional help.
