Making Intimacy Playful, Not Painful With Vaginal Atrophy

byLara Desanto. Health Writer

What’s that sound?是,“让我们把它”马文盖伊打我吗n the background? Yep, that’s right, we’re talking about sex. And if you’re experiencing vaginal atrophy (VA), or the newer term, genitourinary syndrome of menopause (GSM), this might be a sore subject—literally—since vaginal dryness can make intimacy a painful experience you want to avoid. If that hits home, keep reading—we’ve got tips straight from the experts to help you feel better and put the playfulness back into your sex life, because that’s what you deserve.

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首先:获得治疗

Here’s the thing: You need to address the physical symptoms of VA that are making sex painful in the first place, says Evelyn Mitchell, M.D., an obstetrician and gynecologist (OB-GYN) with Keck Medicine of the University of Southern California in Los Angeles. And don’t delay—talk with your doctor about hormonal and nonhormonal treatment options that can help you feel better ASAP. “Getting treatment first is key so when you have sex, it’s not something you dread, and it’s not uncomfortable,” she says. “If something is not pleasurable physically, then mentally you don’t want to go there anymore.”

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Communicate With Your Partner

We get it—sometimes talking about sex with your partner can be awkward. But open, honest communication is majorly important with VA. “Sometimes it’s not easy to talk about the fact that you’re not satisfied,” says Dr. Mitchell. “But sex should be equally pleasurable for both partners.” Sharing what’s working and what’s not with your partner can open the door for changes that lead to a more fulfilling—and comfortable—sex life for both of you. Plus, you can flirt while you do it! Remember: You should feel empowered to explore your sexuality, Dr. Mitchell says.

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将焦点从高潮变为快乐

orgasms很棒(那个年度轻描淡写!)。但是每次有性行为都需要避免需要一个,可以帮助你更深入地融入乐趣。“有许多重要的变量进入性满足,”苏珊D. Reed,M.D.,华盛顿医学大学妇女生殖研究计划的ob-Gyn和计划主任。学习你喜欢的手淫也有用。雷德博士同意:“如果你是自我刺激或与合作伙伴发生性关系,性刺激会感觉更好,如果自我刺激更好,你怎么能用伴侣复制那个经验?”

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Don’t Skimp on Foreplay

Similarly, focusing on foreplay and other forms of touch and intimacy—kissing, massage, oral sex, mutual masturbation, sexting, and more—can help take pressure off the act, especially when intercourse itself is painful due to VA. “Foreplay is extremely important with a condition like atrophy,” says Dr. Mitchell. And if intercourse itself is uncomfortable, you may start to anticipate pain, making sex all the more unappealing. So get creative, and break out of your routine by turning foreplay into the main event. “You can even use an oil calledZestrato increase arousal, and make foreplay fun again,” she says.

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实验性玩具

在卧室里,不仅可以在卧室里进行性玩具香料,但它们还可以提供贴心以超越严格的性交,如果您有VA,这可能是痛苦的。“雷德博士说:”凭借声誉良好的商店提供各种性玩具,“雷德博士说。将玩具像振动器相加到你的性生活中也可以成为前戏的关键部分,如果你有与VA相关的麻烦症状。“这一领域的神经比我们年轻的时候更慢地移动,血液流量并不好,所以有助于前戏的设备可能很重要,”她补充道。

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Try Lubricants

VA通常意味着阴道干燥 - 这可以使性行为不舒服,并且在某些情况下导致出血。yikes。值得庆幸的是,润滑油可以帮助 - 更不用说,尝试不同的产品可以很有趣,并为你的性常规添加额外的东西。寻找低过敏性润滑剂或尝试基于植物的选项,如椰子油,建议雷德博士。But a quick note: While spicing things up is good, don’t take that so literally when it comes to lube if you have VA—“spicy” or “tingling” products may increase discomfort on the thinner vaginal tissue, says Dr. Reed.

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See a Sex Therapist

Talking about your VA and less-than-stellar sex life may feel awkward, and you may not know where to start to improve intimacy when it’s physically uncomfortable. In addition to getting treated by your doctor, Dr. Mitchell recommends sex therapy. “Going to a sex therapist either alone or with your partner can help you find ways to bring intimacy back and keep it going,” she says. “You can explore what about sex is important to you. Sex therapy allows freedom for women to openly talk about this with their partners and have a voice in this conversation.”

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Remember That Some Changes Are Normal (and OK!) With Age

In a society arguably way too focused on anti-aging, it can be difficult for people (women especially—thanks, patriarchy) to accept the changes that come naturally as you grow older. Educating yourself about how sexual function evolves over time can be helpful if you’re facing intimacy issues and open the door to try new things, like different sex positions and ways to reach orgasm that are comfortable and work for your body, says Dr. Reed. “It’s helpful to learn about what sexual function should be as we age and what is normal,” she says.

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这不仅仅是女性

Is your sexual partner male? Newsflash: Men’s bodies change as they age, too! And yes, that can impact sex, just like your VA can. In fact, as many as half of men in their 50s have some level oferectile dysfunction雷德博士说。“如果合作伙伴无法坚持勃起,那么带有干燥的阴道,你就可以努力 - 所以试图保持亲密,并在这方面有开放的讨论非常重要。”努力建立关于改善亲密关系作为团队的持续谈话,而不是将责任归咎于一个伴侣的身体。

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不要放弃希望

如果va正在使性不舒服或痛苦,就知道您不必接受这一新的正常情况。“总有希望,有专业的帮助。一位良好的医疗保健提供者可以帮助您指导您,“Reed博士说。随着荷尔蒙在更年期周围减少时,性别可能开始看起来与曾经不同的东西 - 但不同的是,但不同的不一定是糟糕的事情。事实上,这可能是增加与伴侣沟通的完美时间,获得创意,并在卧室里尝试新事物 - 很快就可以看到烟花。

Meet Our Writer
Lara Desanto.

Lara is a health writer, trauma-informed art therapist, and registered associate marriage and family therapist practicing in Los Angeles. She is also a former digital editor for HealthCentral, covering Sexual Health, Digestive Health, Head and Neck Cancer, and Gynecologic Cancers. In a past life, she worked as the patient education editor at the American College of OB-GYNs and as a news writer/editor at WTOP.com.